Have you ever wondered what came first in that person you witnessed and envied? The confidence or the charisma? Let's sort this out here.
Charismatic is a way of being for some people who possess the quality of confidence. Not all confident people exhibit charisma. Therefore charisma is a stance anyone with confidence can choose at any given time so long as they have learned and practiced the skill of being charismatic.
The first step on WikiHow: How to Be Charismatic is to exude confidence. All the steps on the WikiHow post explain it as a series of steps or elements to captivate and engage others. So charisma is trainable as is confidence.
I've seen speakers get up on stage and create an environment for their audience. Captivating, Engaging, Entertaining. Then I've seen them in meetings after and what may have been perceived as charisma on stage, or confidence, has been mysteriously removed. By choice perhaps. The meeting environment is not calling on these qualities to be present.
Your guess would be as good as mine.
I believe, as with all our qualities and aspects of self, that we can move in and out of them with conscious intent. And without conscious intent (Yikes!)
That our mindset and our environment can have a direct impact on the status of these qualities.
I also don't believe that one must include the other. There are many colourful masks being worn out there in the world. These are only two.
So How Do You Know When These Are 'Real' In Someone
First off I'd like to point out that our experience of someone else is merely based on our own perceptions, which are accumulations of our thoughts and life experiences. Some may judge one to have charisma, while someone else may judge them to be full of sh*t! It truly comes down to our own interpretations.
Confidence as defined by you, may be defined differently by another person.
So can there really be a solid comparison between charisma and confidence?
I am certain of this...Both can be learned.
Yes, some people may come by these qualities more naturally, but don't kid yourself into thinking that this is not possible for you.
Wikipedia defines Charisma as : compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others, a divinely conferred power or talent.
Wikipedia's definition for Confidence has a request for more description.
The dictionary states : full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing: belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance:
I have experienced people to take unexpected stands for themselves in a turn of a second, thus creating a confidence that exudes the charisma to shape a conversation necessary to happen in the moment they need a much desired result or outcome. Shocking themselves even.
With this I have a suggestion for those curious about charisma and confidence.
If you are looking to have confidence in your life and noticing how charisma can benefit communication on different levels, I suggest you take time to work on your self development. To invest and engage in the learning so you can stand in these two characteristics easily.
My recommendation would be to first learn where you are now in your qualities and aspects as they pertain to charisma and confidence and then have a bigger conversation as to what you want confidence and charisma to look like for you.
You will then have your starting point (A) of who you are today. You will design your growth point (B) who you are striving to become.
The space in between is where all the self development gets accomplished.
A very exhilarating journey!
I suggest you consider the Self Love & Confidence eCourse. :D
A Business Relationship Trainer, Virtual Team Coach & Facilitator who loves all things related to business strategy, growth and innovation through the power of people in relationship.