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Building Rapport or Building Walls?

2/1/2017

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A Natural Skill or a Learned Skill?

Some people think that building rapport is a natural personality quality.   That people are either capable or incapable of building rapport.
Fact is:  People can be whatever they choose to be and if there are some that can walk into a room and gain the trust and connection with others quickly, it's because of two ingredients.  
1.)  They grew up in an environment around people, such as parents or mentors or friends that had this skill, so through osmosis they developed and chose to keep it.
2.)  They grew up and realized this is a valuable ability is a person and so purposefully, and some would say painfully leaned into and learned how to build rapport.

Don't Confuse Building Rapport with Friendship

Lets get something explicitly clear here.  
Building Rapport isn't just about being able to walk into a room and confidently walk up to someone and start creating a connection that has the ability to become a strong friendship.
Success in business is strongly based in this ability.
When you have built rapport with someone, you are in a better position to influence, teach, learn and earn trust.  In this capacity the trust you have built up allows others to be more open to your ideas and opportunities, thus creating the ability to co create and do business confidently.
 

How Can You Learn To Build Rapport?

First off, get familiar with your own communication style.  Without knowing where to start and getting clear on what you want rapport building to look like for you, it's impossible to re create yourself as a skilled rapport builder.

Second, you'll need patience.  Patience with yourself.  Especially while you step into practice with others.  You'll notice what is working in your methods and what may not.
However, the more you can learn how to quickly understand others communication styles, the easier building rapport will be for you.

Signs that Rapport is happening

Here is a list of evidence and even items that you will consciously create in the beginning of learning how to build rapport.
Once these become natural, you will be able to move more confidently and swiftly through the rapport building process
  • personal presentation (dress well and for the occasion)
  • show your pearly whites!  A smile meets most people with a lifted energy
  • be consciously calm.  A calm energy vibration is more easily received by people
  • use first names and when newly introduced, please remember the first names
  • confidence is bestowed in your posture, stand tall, but not stretched
  • focus and intentionally listen...you will learn a lot about someone and how to connect here.
  • ask relevant and powerful questions
I recommend you access and invest in the LUMINA Spark portrait to learn about Rapport Building more specific to you and how you are today.   
Start creating the relationships you really want in life and work.  Start being someone who can create a communication and have the outcome you desire.

Most importantly.....

Inside this list (mentioned above) are skills that I see are lacking in so many people today that is affecting their home and work environments.  so much more happiness can be achieved simply by learning these skills. 
Such as:
  • Listening
  • Creating internal Calm
  • Memory in Conversation
  • Asking Questions

If you have not accessed any training in any of these skills, I highly recommend doing so to gain an edge in your life.  
Here's why:
  • People can 'feel' heard (they know when they have been listened to)
  • People can 'feel' energy from others.  
  • People like to be remembered and their name is their most favourite word in the world
  • People like to be asked questions, it allows them to 'feel' acknowledged and cared about.
When people 'feel' mostly good and positive during a communication, they will tend to lean into you. By lean in, I mean, work with you towards a common goal.

These are important people skills that can be learned.

As a relationship trainer I see so many upsets, conflicts, missed opportunities, unhappy people just from not learning these few skills.

I'm here as always to help. :D
I'm Ready To Learn
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    Dianne Flemington

    A Certified Team Performance Coach & Facilitator with a specialization in all things Relationship, ~ "I Iove all things related to business strategy, growth and innovation through the power of people in relationship!"

    Dianne coaches & trains on team dynamics and performance to encourage positive change in today's highly device driven workplace and society.  With a passion to increase the ROI (return on investment) and happiness quotient of our business owners, professionals and personal partnerships! 

    "I help you find your meaning,  gain your confidence and understand your value in all aspects of work and life!" 
    ~ Dianne Flemington

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